on the TTC

My eight-week lithography class at Open Studio ended this week. It was fun. It was my first time doing lithography. I managed to do one print. I spent 2 weeks preparing the stone, 4 weeks drawing on it and 2 weeks printing it. Well actually I only managed one week of printing. My final week was spent watching everyone else print because I had dropped to the bottom of the queue. I'm going back into the studio this month to do some etching in preparation for my solo show at Loop in late April. It's fun to get dirty in a print studio. Intoxicating too. The chemicals get you pretty high. And then they make you sick. That's when it's time to go home. But that's hard to do when you're on a roll. So you just get fucked up.

I started personal therapy 2 weeks ago. Just for myself. It's going well after the first 2 sessions. I'm really liking it. Not as hard as I expected. Maybe because my therapist is so good at her job. I feel understood and supported. I've never felt more secure at any other stage in my life. Me and my brother never got a secure attachment established with our wrecked concentration camp survivor parents. Growing up with them was a nightmare that continues to haunt us. Therapy is helping.

Next week I'd like to get back to working with my lithography stone and print up an edition of my drawing. It's all ready to go. But the studio doesn't consider me qualified enough to work independently in the lithography studio yet. So I'll have to rely on my friends there to help me out.

This past summer I got new glasses that allow me to transition nicely from looking at my drawing subjects to looking at my sketch book. My old progressive lens were kind of useless. These new lens use HD technology and are digitally adjusted to my eyes. They are spectacularly great. Expensive though. $1200 just for the lenses. But now I don't have to peer over eyeglass rims to look at my drawing, plus the peripheral focus comes in handy for the times when my street subjects are looking uncomfortable due to my constant staring. I wouldn't have bought them for myself but Paula insisted. She is so good to me.

Drawing on the fly is getting easier now that I've been at it in earnest for the last 6 years. I hated it mostly at first. It was so frustrating I'd want to quit drawing altogether. It made me feel really bad about my poor academic performance in school, when people were trying to teach me stuff. But now I'm getting the hang of it. I wish I had a more photographic memory though, like my brother who was a successful lawyer and is now a naturopathic doctor. I would be able to hold onto facial features and body positions in my mind's eye, while looking down to draw. But I don't. I have to see it to draw it. I think my brother Michael's academic path was easier than mine because of that photgraphic memory. But then maybe I wouldn't have been so interested in capturing what I see.

drawing on the way to Family Therapy

Paula, Jacob and I go to family therapy on Wednesday afternoon. We started about 5 months ago. We thought it might help us on a number of fronts. I highly recommend it for anybody with teenage kids. At the beginning the group consisted of 3 families and 2 social workers. The leaders of our group are a man and a woman. The attrition rate of the participants has been high. We started out with 10 people in total, 6 parents and 4 kids. Now we're down to 5. The most important thing we're learning is how to listen to each other better, especially our teenage son. He's pretty quiet. The social workers are wonderful, but we're losing the guy after next week. It'll be different without him but she's excellent.

I think Jacob is starting to feel more comfortable in the group. It took a while for us all to feel secure and relaxed. The leaders are patient but they aren't afraid to probe us or call us on stuff. I think this is a must for every family with a teen. I say run, find it now. Your kids will love you forever for it. They need the support. Every ounce they can get. It's all about them now and the sooner a parent gets that the better. There's only one channel they watch, and they are the star of the show!

When I ride the subway to our family therapy I go alone. All three of us come from a different part of the city on Wednesday afternoon. I come from home in the west end, Jacob comes from school up in North York and Paula comes from work in the east end. We all head down into the city. I'm usually a little late, Jacob later and Paula is the most punctual one. Sometimes it's a tough place to be. I like drawing on the way there. Last week I got banned from drawing during group. Well we all did actually. Two of the boys were doodling along with me and one of the social workers suggested a session without drawing might be good to better draw out the boys who were spacing out with pencils.

Paula and I always take a long walk home from Bay and College to our place at Landsdowne and Dupont. The sessions stir a lot of things up. We usually talk a lot about the sessions as we wend our way home. Sometimes we don't talk at all. That walk can be harder than the group.

Sometimes I'd rather get on the subway and draw.